How Not to be a Bridesmaidzilla

Sometimes it’s hard to be a bridesmaid.  It can be expensive, time consuming and is often a thankless job.  However, being asked to take part in a friend or family members wedding is an honor and therefore should be approached as such.

Here are a rules to ensure being the best bridesmaid a lady can be:

1. Don’t Give Your Opinion…Unless Asked
This rule can be applied to several things but one in particular is the bridesmaids attire (dress, shoes, jewelry)  for the big day. The last thing a bride wants or needs is for a renegade attendant to debate the merrits of wearing wedges vs heels. Smile and keep your opinions to yourself.

2. Know the Golden Rule
Think about how your friend, now the bride, treated you on your big day (or will treat you when your day arrives) and try and hold yourself to the same standard. Chances are that if she was a terrible bridesmaid, you wouldn’t still be close enough to be in her wedding. If your big day is still to come, think of how you would want your friend to act as your bridesmaid and try to meet those expectations.

3. Keep the Stress Off the Bride
As a bridesmaid, you can be asked to do any number of things and there are definitely the brides who expect their wedding to become your full time job. However, assuming your friend and bride is being realistic and her requests are simple (putting invitations in envelopes, attending a dress fitting or a cake tasting) and manageable then please, help a bride out. The bride generally has more on her plate than anyone and assisting in a few small tasks is helpful in keeping the bride stress free which makes for a happier wedding party. The groom, your fellow bridesmaids and every vendor in the state thank you in advance.  

4. Know Your Budget
When your friend or family member asks you to be in her wedding, it’s important to know upfront what demands will be made on your bank account.  It’s perfectly acceptable to ask the bride what her anticipated price range will be on the dress, shoes, jewelry, hair and make-up. However, assuming that this isn’t your role, you may also want to ask the maid or matron of honor to which pre-wedding festivities you will be expected to contribute. If it seems that you won’t be able to afford the price of taking part in the wedding, be upfront and honest with the bride as early as possible.

And last but not least….

5. It’s Not About You
Several of the aforementioned rules hinted at this but here it is:  it’s really not about you. To clarify, that doesn’t mean during the happy couples 14 month long engagement that your life, work and relationships outside of the bride and her wedding cease to exist. It does mean that whether or not you hate teal strapless gowns and marathon karaoke bachelorette parties becomes irrelevant.  Most importantly, the week leading up to the wedding and the day of are really not about you. Give the bride her day and do your best to keep her focus on the happiest day of her life.

And since we were so bossy, here’s some happy pictures:

Beth as her sister Laura’s matron of honor

Raquel with her best friend and maid of honor, Ellie


Beth & Raquel


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